Barb Grant understands the personal toll it takes when a loved one is dying – and how critical it is to have a compassionate employer.
Two years ago when her father died of cancer, Grant was the lone caregiver. She was also Conoco’s VP of human resources in Calgary.
“My family is all in Vancouver,” she says. “The stress was tremendous. I’d get a call at work that something had happened and I’d have to take off. It was very hard.”
Today, Grant has a new perspective on the increasing pressures families face as the Canadian population ages. She is now president and CEO of Hospice Calgary, which offers a wide range of specialized support and bereavement services for families.
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| Dr. Robert Buckman applauds compassionate leave legislation for employees with dying family members. |
“Families are exhausted,” she says, noting that work commitments exact a heavy price.
“People worry about taking time from their work, worry about losing their jobs, or they have to quit their jobs because they see that they have to be there for their loved one.”
Dr. Robert Buckman agrees. An oncologist at Princess Margaret Hospital in Toronto, Buckman deals with death on a daily basis.
This week, on April 30, Buckman will be the keynote speaker at a fund-raising and awareness luncheon in Calgary. An author and professional speaker, Buckman has worked in numerous television and video projects, including nearly 50 programs in a medical training series with John Cleese of Monty Python fame.
Entitled The Meaning of Life, the luncheon was organized for a number of reasons:
* To encourage employers to be aware of federal compassionate care legislation that came into effect January 1 that applies to organizations under federal jurisdiction, and to understand that while some provincial jurisdictions have adopted its provisions, some haven’t, including Alberta and B.C.
* To create awareness of support services such as Hospice Calgary.
* To understand on a personal level how people can cope with death and help their loved ones.
The points Buckman wants to make are simple.
“In today’s society we have become frozen with embarrassment (about dealing with someone who is dying),” he says. “We stutter and feel embarrassed and run away.”
Yet this is the time when the person whose life is coming to an end needs contact more than ever.
“Despite what everyone thinks, it’s actually relatively straightforward to stay close and stay communicating with the person who is dying,” he says. “The key usually means that people don’t have to do a lot of talking, they just have to listen.”
Like Grant, Buckman sees the pressure many families face. Increasingly he encounters the so-called sandwich generation – people who take care of their parents and their children – and he’s aware of their financial and time constraints.
Many families in the lower-income groups are seriously worried about their finances to the point it overshadows the whole issue of caring for the sick parent, he says.
Buckman applauds compassionate care legislation that allows eligible Canadians access to EI benefits and protected job leaves.
While critics say the legislation is too narrow in scope, many consider it a first step.
Under optimum conditions, an eligible employee can take eight weeks of protected job leave and earn six weeks of EI benefits to help a loved one who is at high risk of dying within six months. However, in provinces such as Alberta and B.C., that’s not the case for employees outside the federal purview. While Alberta and B.C. employees may be eligible to collect EI benefits through compassionate care legislation, their employer does not have to provide compassionate leave.
Cindy Oliver, president of the College Institute Educators’ Association of B.C., says her federation will be fighting to have compassionate care included in its future collective agreement.
“If you get that language, get it codified in a collective agreement, then people will have universal access to it. We think this is really important,” she says.
“To be torn between looking after a family member and your job . . . it shouldn’t happen.”
There’s hope for those Canadians who are eligible. There has been a trend during the past decade toward helping dying people live at home – at least until the last few days – if the person is comfortable and provided the physical symptoms are controlled.
“This is a major advance,” Buckman says. “What it requires is exactly this kind of legislation so that genuine family members can amplify the professional assistance they receive. So if a nurse can call in three times a week and the family can be there the rest of the time, that’s incredible.”
He adds that for too long, death has been a taboo subject. We’re only getting out of that “death denial” mode, says Buckman, who nearly died of an autoimmune disease in 1979.
He believes compassionate care legislation sends an important message to Canadians.
“If you are staying at home, looking after someone who is seriously ill or dying, you are doing something that our society values. And that’s a big deal.”
Buckman and Grant say they share the same message for employers who are not compelled by legislation to provide such compassionate care options: Benevolence pays dividends.
“Smart employers know that taking care of employees reduces attrition, and increases productivity and commitment to the organization,” Grant says.
“You give back to your staff and they give back to you. I believe enlightened companies will embrace this legislation.”
Many progressive companies have policies and procedures for compassionate leaves, but critics argue that it’s less than perfect because leaves are often at the discretion of the employer.
Grant says that time allows people to work through a profound ordeal. Since her father’s death two years ago, she better understands society’s needs.
Last year Hospice Calgary supported nearly 3,000 people through its outreach programs and its Rosedale facility, a seven-bed, cancer-specific, end-of-life residential care centre.
“We like to say that we help people get back to work in a healthy, productive way,” she says. “And we help kids get back to school and get on with their lives.”
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