Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl, with yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there . . .

– Barry Manilow

Ever get a song in your head you just can’t shake?

Michael Kerr

Barry Manilow’s Grammy-winning Copacabana has been mamboing through my brain for weeks – usually when I’m driving.

I have Canmore’s Michael Kerr to thank for this. He’s an international speaker and business trainer who specializes in using humour to create healthier and more positive work environments.

I’d been leafing through his latest book, You Can’t Be Serious: Putting Humour to Work, and found a chapter that intrigued me. It’s entitled The Office Commute – May the Farce Be With You.

Kerr takes an insightful and cheeky look at a serious topic. The book speaks to the stress of driving to and from work, and how our morning commute can set the tone for an entire day.

Enter Barry Manilow. The Copa is one of Kerr’s special songs – one he sings when he’s stressed-out in traffic. “When I get that way I usually start cranking up the music,” Kerr says. “The sillier the song, the dorkier, the better. I like a lounge lizardy song, a little upbeat and different and I start belting it out.”

He’s got dozens of great tips for commuters whose temperature gauges run a little hot in traffic, because of: being cut off, tailgated, receiving the finger, drivers going too fast for conditions, car trouble, bone-jarring potholes, bicycle couriers who ignore every rule of the road, and (my pet peeve) drivers who take up two parking spaces in a crowded lot.

When Kerr talks to audiences and clients about traffic stress, he drives home two messages: lighten up, and understand that we all have total control over our reactions in any circumstance.

It’s all about “reframing” the situation.

Kerr uses the analogy of a traffic jam. Imagine two people side by side, not going anywhere in bumper-to-bumper traffic. One driver’s about to eat his tie in frustration; the other is smiling, maybe singing or laughing.

We can stew, project all kinds of negative thoughts and scenarios, or we can enjoy the moment, Kerr says.

“If we let these things become stressful, we exaggerate, we tend to catastrophize to the point that little things become huge,” he says.

“We think that we’ll be late for the meeting, the boss will crap on us and the day’s work will just back up.”

Instead, he suggests we look at traffic delays as a short break, a kind of timeout where we can slip a comedy tape or a favourite CD into the car stereo system. And then relax.

“There’s nothing you can do with a traffic jam, so use it as an excuse to slow down,” Kerr says. “We’re all running so fast these days. Just try and think of it as an enforced holiday.”

As important as the ride in to work is, Kerr believes it’s imperative that we also relax on the way home – preferably before we get into our vehicles.

Find a little ritual to wash away the day’s stresses, he suggests. Take a walk, shoot some hoops, meditate, do yoga or share some jokes with a colleague.

If we don’t relax we become testy, more likely to drive aggressively and overreact to relatively minor things on the route home.

Psychologists believe that the first hour of the morning plays a huge role in setting the mood for an entire day, Kerr explains. Speaking to his clients, he knows that many have worked themselves into a steamy froth even before they arrive at work.

In some cases, people have had a relatively easy drive in, traffic-wise.

However, the problem is that many are fretting too much.

“On a Monday morning, their brain starts talking, worrying and stressing about all the work ahead,” Kerr says. “They say, ‘I’ve got to phone this person, I wonder how the meeting will go’ . . . all this negative talk is when people are getting themselves worked up with their internal dialogue.”

To help ourselves, we need to be self-analytical. If we’re prone to negative thinking, we should focus on something that will divert our attention while driving.

“I run through a lot of my speeches when I’m driving in from Canmore to Calgary,” Kerr says. “The drive’s exactly an hour, which is the length of my speeches. Even if I’m slowed or stopped by highway construction, I don’t mind because my mind is playing along, relaxing.”

Kerr also likes the idea of car-pooling. Instead of being isolated in our vehicles, having a social outlet in the car might reduce the stress of driving. Presumably we’d be less likely to whip out the finger at another motorist if we have company sitting next to us.

He’s also an advocate for “technology-free zones” in our vehicles. Driving is tough enough, so eliminating distractions such as cellphones, text- messaging and the like are bound to lighten our stressloads, he says.

In his book, Kerr supplies hundreds of tips to help people think seriously about lightening up.

Stuck in traffic? Play a game using licence plate letters on vehicles in front of you to form a word.

Or look for great bumper stickers and write them down for your co-workers. Kerr’s favourites include: I’d Give My Right Arm To Be Ambidextrous; and Forget World Peace: Visualize Using Your Turn Signal.

It boils down to whatever works for you. Recently, I’ve taken Kerr’s advice.

When another driver does something stupid, I think of the Copa . . . the hottest spot north of Havana, where music and passion were always in fashion . . .

Web watch:
www.mikekerr.com