About 11 p.m. last Sunday, the entire system almost came to a halt.

Alarms sounded, lights flashed. Network technicians were paged immediately to address the problem. After using scanning tools, they found a peculiar entry in the log file.

It seemed the supply chain management system (SCM) had experienced a conflict with virus scanner Norton.

“Look, I’m the SCM, I make sure things get to where they should be going and frankly Norton, without us, you’d be nothing,” the SCM argued. “It’s because of you the system gets bogged down and we have these problems. You just sit around all day waiting for something to happen.

“ You are the weakest link.”

“Don’t start playing Robinson Crusoe with me,” retorted the virus scanner. “I won’t stand for that load of crap. I’m also the one who fixes things when you fail to deliver.”

Although encrypted, the next index in log entry seemed to point to the hardware. “OK you guys, I’m the systems file. I represent the hardware. They’re really fed up because all you applications guys do is tell them what to do and they won’t stand for it.”

“Oh boot yourself,” snorted the hard drive. “Tell those softheads that they can be replaced — upgraded. I maintain all the storage, the important data — so I should be in charge.”

“ You’re too slow,” interrupted RAM. “I run at nanoseconds, you only run in milliseconds.”

Motherboard stepped in and claimed territory because it’s her space everyone’s occupying. Video, who monitors everything, intervened and said: “Careful RAM, you’re not in a strong position. You’re volatile — only temporary!”

Buffer noted he’d just recovered the security tapes of a game show the mortals were just watching. “I figure, we could optimize the situation by restoring and executing the game show The Weakest Link,” he suggested.

“That’ll work” agreed Fan. “Who wants to play Anne? No, I’ll play Anne; besides, my name rhymes with Anne and I’m pretty good at keeping things cool around here.”

Processor, who’s always quick to respond and very calculating, started generating a little heat. “This is not a democracy, you can’t vote any one away.”

The speakers were not attached, so nobody listened. All the components were ANSI. Ethernet, who always seems to make good connections, thought that HUB, where network congestion begins, should be the first to go.

Floppy thought Processor was using up all the resources and caused the most problems. Processor retaliated.

“You’re useless. Too small and every time we boot up, we have to check on little A-drive, it just slows everything down.”

Ethernet started picking on the modem.

“I can run at 100 MB per second. You can only run a measly 56K. I can run a hundred times faster than you and I don’t have to rely on the phone. In fact, I’m free as a bird. I’m completely wireless.”

CD-Rom snickered.

“Stop spinning for a change,” said Hard Drive, “and don’t act so cocky. You may be a fast reader, but you couldn’t write even one bit, even if your entire file integrity depended on it. I, on the other hand can perform both tasks simultaneously.”

Fan asked everyone to chill. Modem disconnected, RAM departed, supply chain went off-line and Anti-Virus became outdated.

“Not so fast,” said Processor. “I run at 1.4 Ghz. I’m the brains, and you’re just my biggest fan.”

As the Processor spewed his logic, he heated up the discussion. The fan started to choke.

“What’s the matter, can’t take the heat?” sneered Processor. “I knew this all right from the start-up. You’re all weak. I am the strongest link.”

“I’m the only one that can answer questions. I have built-in logic and I can never be wrong.”

For a moment, Processor was alone. Suddenly a small flickering sound was heard. “ Who goes there? I thought you were all gone,” said Processor. “Oh, it’s you, little pathetic power cord. Be gone with you.”

It obeyed. Silently, the power cord went off. There was complete darkness, followed by a deadening silence. A moment passed and suddenly a voice was heard from a distance.

“Processor, you’re a bully – you push everyone around and think you know it all. Maybe you’re right. I guess I am the weakest link, but I have ALL the power. Without me, you can’t exist. That makes you THE WEAKEST LINK. GOODBYE!”

With a final click, I suddenly awoke with my iBook by my side. Summer is here and can you guess? I need a holiday!