Everybody has a story about the office Christmas party, and the boss or employee who behaved like a Grade A turkey.

You know the ones: The normally shy secretary who drinks too much and dirty-dances in the middle of a crowded room; or the guy, bolstered by the holiday spirit of Jack Daniel's, who decides to unload on his supervisor.

Workplace consultant David Dial, founder of Calgary-based Dial Solutions Group, has seen his share of silliness. He remembers dropping in on a party a few years ago where the company president, to put it delicately, made an ass of himself.

The party had begun at 1 p.m., Dial recalls. It was a successful business in downtown Calgary and by early evening the place was hopping.

Business Edge file photo
Alcohol and holiday office parties can be an embarrassing combination.

"The president of the company made a lasting impression because he broke the glass on the photocopier," Dial says. "He was photocopying his butt . . . at a business party." Dial said the president's behaviour clearly sent a message.

"It told people how they could conduct themselves inside a company," he says. "I can tell you today that company doesn't exist." Dial's tale might provide some sober thought as we swing blithely into another year of holiday office parties.

He and other workplace consultants say while it's important to have fun, it is also prudent for employers and employees to set boundaries of behaviour.

It's a particularly unusual time of year, they add. People are more ready than ever to let their hair down, but too often they find themselves asking serious questions the morning after.

Questions such as: n Was it really so smart to whisper lustfully to young Suzie just how much you liked her?

n Did I really pop out of my cute little dress - Janet Jackson-like - when I stumbled after that fifth martini? n And why did I wake up in bed with a watermelon? While office stories are legend and sometimes amusing, observers say they can also be career-killers. Or they can erode trust among co-workers and managers, turn blushing dirty-dancers into shrinking violets and shred a person's dignity. Management has an obligation to rein in its employees, says Ann Marsh, vice-president of Influence, etiquette and protocol ltd., a Calgary company.

"In many companies, there's no verbal or written expectation from management," Marsh says. "What is it you talk about the next morning? You talk about the behaviour of people the night before, which is disrespectful, rather than addressing it prior to the occasion." Marsh says that companies should be communicating a code of ethics and following through on stated consequences for poor behaviour.

"This is still about business, this is still during business hours," she says. "These are the people who employ you . . . but it seems the whole expectation component is missing. Or the expectation on some people's part is that anything goes. And nobody's willing to say, 'No it doesn't.' " Additionally, she believes that employees who sit on social committees should help in setting expectations, as many people simply don't know what constitutes "appropriate" party behaviour.

Professional matchmaker Maureen Wagner, president of Empresario Matchmaker Inc. of Calgary, agrees.

As an example, she points to women who set themselves up for trouble by wearing revealing clothing.

"I look at some of these young women and I say, 'That's what you wear to work?' If you want to be treated respectfully, you have act respectfully." Alcohol is also far too prevalent at many parties, says Wagner, and can be a lightning rod for what she wryly describes as "magical" moments. "Do you know how magic happens? It's invented after a few drinks," she says. "It's when you see someone from across the crowded room and say, 'That's the one for me!' " It's management's role to take the wheel and set the party's course, Wagner adds. If the party's in the office, the employer must control the alcohol. Better yet, management should hold the event in a public place, a venue with some sense of sophistication that fosters similar behaviour from company employees.

"I can guarantee you that if they (staff) are sitting in a high-end restaurant, young women won't be falling out of their dresses." At the same time, celebrating the holidays at an upscale location is a chance to show off your company to society. And Wagner strongly suggests that families, children and even Santa Claus should be on the invitation list.

"It's the holiday season and it is for families. A company that includes everyone shows great respect to its employees." Wagner observes that many singles don't attend company parties. They don't want to be perceived as being alone or some just don't like the drinking culture. Companies that make their parties inclusive, she says, allow singles to bring a friend, a brother, a neighbour or a nephew along in an atmosphere that's welcoming.

It's not all negative, Wagner adds. She says she hears many great stories about organizations that have treated employees to fabulous nights out, or even taken them to the mountains for an overnight celebration. The best companies, she notes, tend to have a charitable component as well, which encourages a more favourable environment.

Marsh adds that she and her business partner have been hired this month to make a presentation at a Vancouver company's office holiday dinner and party. They'll be discussing dining etiquette and the power of first impressions. "We're hearing about more companies who are providing an educational component, or something that offers more value to employees," Marsh says. "It think it's a new trend . . . that helps set a professional tone." If anything, it's a far cry from stories about company presidents educating themselves about how to use a photocopier.

(Mike Dempster can be reached at miked@businessedge.ca)