Except for the fact his own trade is roaring, Calgary’s Bob Ray could hang out his shingle as a small-business consultant.

He’s watched dozens of fledgling enterprises implode. Your friendly neighbourhood Civil Enforcement Bailiff, Ray’s a walking encyclopedia on do’s and don’ts — particularly the don’ts.

Bob Ray is the man from seizeandrecover.com, who estimates he’ll earn more than $200,000 this year.

But if you call him a repo man, you’ll injure his feelings.

Chris Wood, Business Edge
Civil enforcement bailiff Bob Ray, pictured at Calgary's Court of Queen's Bench, is an up-front guy.

“I consider this to be my profession,” he said, straightening his tie. Ray regards himself as an honourable, up-front guy, who stumbled into the proverbial dirty job.

But with the provincial economy going ballistic, and Albertans leading the country in spending — and probably in over-extending themselves — somebody’s gotta do it.

Accredited by Alberta Justice, Ray is an officer of the court, who carries a gleaming badge in the pocket of his crisp white shirt. He’s impounded boats, planes, automobiles, art collections, and range cattle on the hoof.

He’s held his nose while seizing feedlot assets, and has acquired a remarkable repository of arcane knowledge.

“Do you know how far a llama can spit?” he inquired, squinting with displeasure. “I can tell you, right to the inch. I didn’t know they were so mean-spirited.”

He’s lugged computers out of the offices of dot-com enterprises gone sour. He’s pulled on gumboots, and slogged out to remote mudholes to slap a seizure order on oilfield rigs.

’Cause when the economy cooks, Ray’s business absolutely smokes.

As a public service, he’s happy to run down precautionary rules for the rookie entrepreneur. In no particular order, they are:

* Cash is King.

“They better have cash reserves before they get into any business. Commercial landlords are asking for higher rents, and getting greater security these days.” For seasonal businesses and restaurateurs — notoriously vulnerable to bankruptcy — this rule is paramount.

“Cash flow and cash reserves, to pay the rent, first and foremost. Even better, carry a splash fund, just in case worst comes to worst.”

And be prepared to cover stratospheric energy costs. Last week, Ray investigated four cases of retailers who had fallen months behind in rent, trying to meet payrolls and pay utilities.

* Know Thyself — Better Still, Know Thy Market.

“If it’s a new business, say an application service provider, know who you’re selling to. Make sure you have presold your services before you open your doors.”

Why? Because herds of clients are unlikely to stampede to your storefront. “Ain’t gonna happen,” concurred Ray. “They’ll be sooner seeing me than (unsolicited) business coming in.”

* My Partner, My Enemy.

Ray shudders at the mention of the P-word.

From his unique vantage, partnerships equal pure poison.

“Get ready for problems. I’ve seen brothers come after each other. To make a partnership function, have a working partner and a silent partner, who puts up the money and leaves day-to-day operations to the other.”

* Respect Thy Limits.

Premature, or too rapid, expansion generally leads to trouble.

“Expand too quickly, and I guarantee there will be cash flow problems,” nodded Ray.

“Grow too quickly, I’m at the door — and all I see is inventory.”

He has the authority to seize it, if rent or payments are months behind; if assets have been pledged under a general security agreement; or if a landlord has signed a writ of possession, authorizing the bailiff to change locks.

Of modest stature and slight build, Ray doesn’t fit the stereotype of bailiff as gorilla — though he and an ex-partner once depicted a grouchy great ape on their business cards.

He sticks to commercial clients, because he has no stomach for residential seizures.

And he tries to conduct his unpleasant business as compassionately as circumstances allow.

This doesn’t apply to habitual, hard-core deadbeats, however.

Like rats trailing the Pied Piper, they follow in prosperity’s wake.

“The same faces, time and time again. This one guy I’ve seized from several times over. He calls me Sheriff Bob. When I show up, he’ll laugh and say: ‘Whoops, guess you got me again, didn’t you Sheriff Bob?,’ ” Ray sneered. But a debtor who’s making an honest effort to fulfil obligations may get a break when Ray comes knocking.

“I might leave (the assets) behind under a bailee’s undertaking. That’s a document that says the individual will maintain security of the property in such a fashion that it will not be sold, converted, molested or destroyed, and will deliver it up to me when I say so.”

But if there’s no other way, your friendly neighbourhood bailiff can only do what must be done.

“Call me. I go get,” he shrugged — whether there’s a llama in the vicinity, or not.