Say what you want about John Roth. The man’s got Jupiter-sized cojones.

Though his host offered Roth an easy out, the CEO of Nortel Networks was man enough to honour a commitment made when Roth was still perceived as Canadian commerce’s infallible man of steel.

An Alberta boy himself, and boss of Spruce Meadows’ flagship corporate sponsor, Roth was asked many months ago to chat up Ron Southern’s Round Table of corporate cowpokes.

The topic: Changing fortunes. Pretty ironic, since Southern dreamed up the theme long before Roth’s executive team achieved what the New York Times called a milestone in the history of mismanagement of shareholder assets.

Mike Sturk, Business Edge
Nortel Networks CEO John Roth got an easy ride at Spruce Meadows last week.

Former cabinet ministers, ex-provincial premiers, mayors, newspaper publishers, high commissioners, law-firm partners, the governor of the Bank of Canada and the CEO of the NFL’s Denver Broncos were among the mucky-mucks on hand when Roth spoke last Friday.

They listened politely, then lobbed softball questions, which Roth answered with his odd, staccato mumbles.

Some even praised Nortel managers for limiting expenditures of available cash reserves, as well as for recent success in a $1-billion debt offering.

Roth laconically recapped the abrupt and startling flameout of the telecom sector, led in spectacular fashion by Nortel, the corporate Icarus which flew too close to the sun. He blamed the crash on the evaporation of capital markets; the business failures of Nortel’s corporate customers on the fact “their friendly banker was no longer that friendly.”

Other pithy zingers included: “Anybody who has a five-year plan today doesn’t know what’s going on,” and “rapid growth breeds a lot of bad habits.”

While Roth talked ad nauseum about external factors, he didn’t feel called upon to shoulder a lot of personal blame. Nor did he dwell on the vicissitudes of Nortel shareholders.

Can’t blame JR, I guess, for failing to remind his well-to-do audience that Nortel shareholders have watched value of about a quarter-trillion in US dollars disappear.

He didn’t mention, as the Times gleefully pointed out, that Nortel’s second-quarter loss surpassed the annual gross domestic product of El Salvador.

Nor did he dwell on other distasteful subjects, such as the unholy hole left in the retirement savings of untold investors by the crash of Nortel, and the whole telecom sector. In fact, judging by the tone of his Friday morning discourse, the human factor rarely seems to intrude upon the world view of J. Roth, Time Canada’s Man of the Year.

While speaking matter-of-factly about the company’s 40-per-cent staff reduction, he seemed barely aware that such downsizing means loss of income, security and self-esteem for 30,000 living, breathing souls who would have chewed broken glass for him 10 months ago.

Ever the pragmatist, Roth had the brass to inform one questioner that replacing all that forsaken human capital will be a breeze, should a turnaround materialize (he doesn’t foresee it for at least a year, and the retiring Roth will be long gone by then).

Why? Because Nortel and its competitors have been shedding bodies at such a rapid rate, there’ll be an enormous talent pool to dip into when (if?) the time comes.

A perceptive reporter in the gallery correctly whispered, “that’s the way all these guys think.”

Yep, guess so. But maybe not all.

While listening to Roth, I couldn’t help comparing – not particularly favourably – his recent track record with that of his host, Ron Southern.

An enormously creative man, with a sleepless intelligence, Ron, his wife, Marg, and the rest of the Southerns will be remembered as builders.

The Southerns took a little trailer-rental outfit and built it into the ATCO Group, a $5.8-billion enterprise that employs 6,000 people worldwide.

They bought a nondescript feedlot south of the city, and in less than 25 years transformed it into an equestrian showcase that rivals any other in the world.

But even Southern seemed too eager to let JR off the hook. In fact, a subliminal theme of the CEO-drenched Round Table was: There but for the grace of God go I.

One wag even reminded his fellow clubmates of Ron Southern’s own tongue-in-cheek formula for fighting a slump: GSB, which stands for guts, skating and back-checking.

No, when ordinary folks remember John Roth, they’ll be reminded of Slim Pickens, and that fabulously loco owl hoot he portrayed in the movie, Dr. Strangelove.

Who could forget watching Slim as he straddled the Big Bomb, then rode it down to the target (and oblivion), whoopin’ and hollerin’ all the way?

That’s Roth – the Slim Pickens of the corporate cowpokes.

In fact, as any Nortel shareholder will tell you, it’s slim pickin’s all around.