A big, brown envelope arrived at Business Edge this morning postmarked “North Pole.”

Inside, the scoop on Santa’s exclusive gift list for the naughty and nice of the business world and beyond.

Sorry to rain on the parade, gang, but naughty won over nice this year.

Yup, Santa’s putting his boot down. No more $15,000 dog-shaped umbrella stands, no more $6,000 shower curtains . . .

To EnCana CEO Gwyn Morgan, a 48-hour day (so the indefatigable oilman can have time to run Canada’s largest independent oil company while practising the new math necessitated by the Kyoto Protocol).

Fred Singer

To Frank Sisson, owner of Frank Sisson’s Silver Dollar Casino, money in the bank (delivered by a Brink’s Truck).

To J.R. Shaw, chairman of Shaw Communications, a talk with his kid (son Jim, the CEO) over the latter’s accepting an interest-free loan of $6 million from the public company.

To Jim Shaw, Shaw CEO, a talk with his pa (J.R.) over the latter’s accepting a $6.3-million bonus for fiscal 2002 while the stock tanked to oblivion.

Barry Lammle

To Calgary Stampeders’ bungling duo of Feterik & Fateri (owner Michael Feterik and COO Fred Fateri), an Abbott & Costello video.

To Stampeders’ coach Wally Buono, peace on earth. To Fred Singer, CEO of Henry Singer Men’s Wear, Office Suit Day.

To Barry Lammle, CEO of Boutique of Leathers, Office Leather Day.

To Warren Buffett, CEO of Berkshire Hathaway, a makeover – with a fashionable Henry Singer suit, a tie that isn’t polyester grey and a portfolio jazzed up with a few spiffy tech stocks.

Gwyn Morgan

To Martha Stewart Living CEO Martha Stewart, a new broker (one that doesn’t smear eggnog on her face and reputation).

To Ken King, CEO of the Calgary Flames, a coach who reminds the players that it’s a game, not a business (i.e., Al MacNeil).

To Peter Linder, manager of the DeltaOne Energy Fund, a cold snap.

To ski resort owner Murray Edwards, snow. To Ken Read, president of Alpine Canada, a throwback “Crazy Canuck” for the national ski team.

To VisuaLABS fugitive founder Sheldon Zelitt, 3-D glasses.

To gold bugs, $500 gold in 2003.

To Goldman Sachs cheerleading market strategist Abby Joseph Cohen, pom-poms.

To Arlene Dickinson, CEO of Venture Communications, a forum for inspiring prospective women CEOs.

To Bill Gates, Microsoft founder, nothing new, just Monopoly, the board game.

To chocolatier Bernard Callebaut, a race car. To new SEC chairman William Donaldson, Mr. Clean (for cleaning up Crook Street, formerly known as Wall Street).

To securities regulators, less talk, more action.

To Dick Haskayne, oilman/ philanthropist, a million-selling video on integrity in corporate governance.

To media mogul Izzy Asper, journalism school.

To Clive Beddoe, WestJet CEO, a raise.

To Steve Smith, CEO of ZIP Air, sunglasses (so he isn’t blinded by those fluorescent-coloured birds).

To Linda Hohol, head of the TSX Venture Exchange, a press conference (to remind investors that there really is a Venture Exchange).

To Ralph Klein, the premier, a weekend getaway to reflect on Alberta health care (in an emergency waiting room).

To Flames’ Jarome Iginla, the PlayStation NHL 2003 video game with the Jarome Iginla cover (so he can rediscover his wonderful scoring touch).

To Hugh Campbell, CEO of the Edmonton Eskimos, a 2003 champagne toast (from the Grey Cup).

To the bashful Daryl Katz, president of the Katz Group, Nancy Southern, CEO of the Atco Group, Ron Brenneman, CEO of Petro Canada, press agents.

To Greg Noval, maverick CEO of Canadian Superior Energy, beers with Billy The Kid.

To Running Room president/marathoner John Stanton, more marathons.

To John Forzani, a standing ovation (for his company’s phenomenal success story).

To Tony Franceschini, CEO of Stantec, beers with George W. Bush.

To Hatim Zaghloul, CEO of Wi-Lan, and Michel Fattouche, former CEO of Cell-Loc, 1999.

To Sid Puddicombe, president of family-run Sid Puddicombe Associates, a sit-com about his life and family - My Three Sons.

To John Roth, former CEO of Nortel Networks, the Grinch Who Stole Christmas video. Oh, he got that last year? OK, just a lump of coal.

To Dennis Kozlowski, former CEO of Tyco International, a $15,000 US dog-shaped umbrella stand and $6,000 US shower curtain. Oops! That was last year. OK, a lump of coal.

To Rudy Giuliani, who spends too much time in the New York Yankees’ dugout, one day managing the Yankees.

To ROB-TV, a map of Canada (one that includes Western Canada).

To Bay Street, a map of Canada (one that includes Western Canada).

To Jean Chretien, a “pig with lipstick” named Kyoto, symbolic of the Kyoto Protocol.

To Mike Rae, president of Lexicom Internet Services, voicemail.

To Gus Peters, owner of Peter’s Drive-In, an entrepreneur-of-the-year award and something modern (ie. touch-tone phone, electric stove, cash register, etc.).

To Joseph Berardino, former CEO of Arthur Andersen, an old-fashioned calculator – without multiplication.

To Bernie Ebbers, former CEO of WorldCom, and Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron, Christmas with the shareholders their companies screwed.

To Larry Pollock, CEO of Canadian Western Bank, one shift in the NHL.

To David Suzuki, a walkie-talkie (to help him walk the talk on environmental issues).

To my pal Bre-Xer, just one 10-bagger.

To the Lady in Red, wedding bells.

To Ed McNally, CEO of Big Rock Brewery, a bumper barley crop.

To John Van Brunt, CEO of Agrium, rain.

To ‘Chic’ Karin Housley, author of Chicks Laying Nest Eggs, an updated edition – Chicks Slaying Nest Eggs. To Kelly Streit, president of Mode Models, the next Cindy Crawford.

To Maria Bartiromo, CNBC’s rising star, Louis Rukeyser’s job (host of Louis Rukeyser’s Wall Street).

To all, cellphones with dead batteries on Christmas Day. Merry Christmas!




HOT ALBERTA STOCK: Rider Resources
RRI-TSX $1.60
Up 70 cents (+77.7%) on 10,590,500 shares (for week ending Dec. 13).
Rider shareholders were ridin’ tall in the saddle after a sweet merger deal with IEI Energy, a Calgary company backed by savvy oilman Murray Edwards, sent the shares skyrocketing. Rider shareholders are to receive .9488 shares of IEI for each Rider share. The new company will be run by a star-studded team headed by Craig Stewart. IEI (IEN-TSX.V) remained halted at $1.35.




COLD ALBERTA STOCK: Moveitonline Inc.
MOV-TSX 35.5 cents
Down 13 cents (-37.3%) on 27,800 shares (for week ending Dec. 13).
This stock market does not fancy penny-stock companies without earnings. Check out Moveitonline, the Calgary company that delivers software for shipping. Just as it appeared Moveitonline might be finally breaking out, the stock pulled back yet again to trade near its 12-month low.