You’re attending an after-hours office cocktail party, and suddenly find yourself trapped in the corner with a boring and opinionated colleague. Do you:

a) Nod a lot and pretend you’re listening while you secretly scan the room for more interesting prospects?

b) Make a pitiful excuse and flee the room?

c) Engage your colleague in pleasant conversation?

Chris Wood, Business Edge
Image consultant Helene Oseen helps business professionals hone their images for the office and after-hours events.

While many of us are tempted to try almost anything but the last option, the way we conduct ourselves at business-related social events is critical to how we are perceived as professionals.

“Most people don’t like these things, but they realize they need to be there,” says Helene Oseen, a Calgary image consultant who helps people look, act and speak in a professional manner throughout the working day – and night.

Brushing up on one’s image includes evaluating a total package of behaviours, she adds, to make sure business people come across as polished and gracious as they desire.

Clothing, manners, posture, facial expressions, voice intonations and dining skills are a few areas Oseen focuses on, depending on the client’s needs.

At all times, the key is to be true to yourself, to assess situations and use your skills to make other people feel comfortable with you. Putting people at ease is the key to making connections and establishing relationships, Oseen says.

The cocktail party is an area where many business professionals require help. It’s easy to believe that you need only make a token appearance, check out who else is there or who might possibly be worthwhile talking to, and then leave after making the rounds.

The problem is, says Oseen, people pick up those signals a mile away.

If you don’t give the people you speak with one-on-one attention, regardless of how brief your conversation is, you will never make a connection. Too many people simply offer a business card, tell people what they do, and head off to the next group.

“Ultimately I like it when they ask me for a business card,” says Oseen. “That shows I’ve engaged them enough and presented myself interestingly enough that they want to follow up with me.”

Another problem: the Boss.

Some people try to avoid their superiors at social gatherings, others flatter for the sake of flattering. The best option is to show your boss common courtesy, says Oseen.

“A true leader is concerned about the people working for them and wants to hear what people are concerned about.”

Find yourself standing alone? Check out the conversations around you. If you want to break into a group, the easiest route is to identify its leader, or the most outgoing person, and make eye contact – you may get the invite to slip into the conversation.

“Too many people try to barge into the group with having made contact, and they end up still feeling like they’re standing there alone,” says Oseen.

An image consultant for 16 years, Oseen conducts seminars, works with individuals and corporations, speaks at conferences and is an author and TV personality.

While men and women come to her with different areas of interest or concern, she advises the ultimate goal is to take control of the message each individual wants to send.

“The image has to be about your core values,” she says. “If you try to be a phony, people will spot you a mile away.”

Men generally seek Oseen’s help on listening and dining skills, while women are usually more interested in their clothing and appearance.

Women in business have far more options when it comes to dressing, she adds, while men usually only have to worry about a nice jacket, dress pants and a crisp shirt.

“The one thing I stress is quality,” she says. “There’s nothing worse than having a man’s jacket begin to lose its stamina and rumple at three in the afternoon.”

With more choices, women face greater challenges, and risk making more mistakes.

A woman who is five-foot, six-inches tall and blonde should wear stronger, more authoritative colours if she knows she’s addressing a group of businessmen, says Oseen.

But if she’s at a volunteer school association trying to raise milk money, the last thing she wants is to be dressed in is an intimidating navy blue suit. A softer, warmer colour will help her fit better into the group.

“If you come across as dressed one notch better, they’ll see you as a leader,” says Oseen. “Two or three notches higher, they’ll alienate you.”

Most people who hire Oseen simply need to fine-tune some behaviours, or are seeking reassurance they are doing things correctly.

Everyone struggles, she says. She remembers the first time she appeared on television, sitting rigidly and feeling like a talking head. “The next time I tried to gesture more,” she recalls. “I felt like a bird trying to fly out of the studio. I felt silly . . . but I watched a tape and saw I looked quite natural.”

Occasionally, someone will approach Oseen asking for a complete makeover. Take it one step at a time, she says. Referring to her own TV experience, she explains that if she’d been changing other behaviours all at once, she would have been a mess.

“You won’t be comfortable and people will pick up on it. In fact, you’ll walk by a mirror and not recognize yourself.”

Oseen adds that business people today are aware they can’t fool others. A decade ago, some people were picking images with the attitude: “Fake it until you make it.”

There were business people acting out the “Successful Executive” stereotype – always outgoing, gregarious, sunny, not a care in the world, she says. And it didn’t work, says Oseen.

Today’s professionals are more honest. They recognize that substance and style work hand in hand.

That, she says, is what makes true professionals stand out — at work or play.

Web Watch:
www.heleneprograms.com