When Ted Boughen decided to leave his well-paying job and become a stay-at-home dad 12 years ago, the move came as a shock to his co-workers.
"Working in an archaic male-dominated profession, it certainly created some interesting conversations," Boughen remembers. "Especially with some of my older co-workers, who raised their eyebrows and said: 'You're doing what?' " A CN Rail traffic controller in Winnipeg, Boughen opted to take a buyout instead of being transferred to Edmonton when his position was downsized.
"I left a job that was basically moving on without me and did what a lot of people would like to do but don't have the opportunity," he says.
With two young daughters, Boughen agreed to stay home so his wife, a pediatrician, could focus on her career. At the time, he never thought he'd be out of the workforce for so long.
"Early on, for a couple years, I took some courses at the University of Manitoba (in my industry) to keep my skills up, but there came a point where my wife was getting too busy with her career and it didn't look like I'd be re-entering the workforce anytime soon," he recalls. "So after a couple years of part-time courses, I stopped."
The story is all too common to human-resources experts, who are finding more and more parents - especially fathers - struggling to re-enter the workforce after a long break.
"The danger and the risk and the problem that I'm seeing is that, when they're ready to come back in the workforce, they're facing the same re-entry issues women faced years ago," says management and career-counselling provider Barbara Bowes, of Winnipeg-based Bowes HR.
"And that's not to say women aren't still facing these issues - they are."
It can take several months or longer just to update skills or renew accreditations. Job seekers are then faced with trying to explain their time at home to potential employers, who all too often see it as a negative.
"Employers don't appreciate the skills an individual may have after being a stay-at-home parent for years, but these skills add value and we need to start giving credit for life work experience," Bowes says.
Despite the gains made in recent years with employers becoming more family friendly and experts extolling the virtues of a good work-life balance, it seems there's still a stigma when it comes to stay-at-home parents.
"It's still not accepted enough and unless the individual has been very high profile in the volunteer community, people still look at staying home and raising children with a little bit of disdain," Bowes says.
"But if your face is in the paper and you're doing all these good deeds, you're forgiven."
While finding a new job after a long break can be difficult, more and more companies are starting to recognize skills developed outside the paid workforce and giving people credit for off-the-clock accomplishments.
"There are a lot of companies that appreciate that 'life' work experience and they want to give you a try," Bowes says. "I would consider them enlightened companies."
Once such company is the Manitoba Lotteries Corp. Voted one of the top employers in the prairie province for the past two years, the MLC has received numerous leadership awards.
"We've always looked at people's overall experience - education, work experience, volunteer activities and other things they've been involved in, because we really believe that it can add value," says Marilyn Robinson, MLC vice-president of corporate marking and people services.
"We believe transferable skills can be gained in so many ways - not just through paid employment."
Employers look for key skills such as communication, organization, co-operation and teamwork. And while it may not seem like it at the time, dealing with a pushy fellow parent or stubborn preschooler isn't that much different from negotiating with a difficult co-worker or needy subordinate.
"If someone has been out of the workforce but actively involved in community or church groups or coaching a team, those are certainly transferable skills that can add a lot of value to the organization."
One of these examples is a former client of Bowes HR, who had been a stay-at-home mom for 20 years.
During that time, she volunteered for committees, was a school trustee and eventually chaired a provincial board.
When it came time to re-enter the workforce, she landed a senior-level director position and was promoted to vice-president within five years.
"When you're rubbing shoulders with the premier as a volunteer of a group, those are senior-level skillsets," says Bowes. "Once you identify that, you can do a better job of selling yourself."
In fact, the biggest mistake those on the mommy-and-daddy track make is under-selling themselves and the skills they have.
"You take yourself for granted and you don't realize the value of what you do," Bowes says.
"Once you break the skills down, it gives people such incredible self-confidence."
For parents transitioning from playgroups to working groups, Bowes advocates doing a skills-based resumé - a concept she first pioneered more than 25 years ago. Frowned upon back then, skills-based resumés are now all the rage and can give an edge to people returning to the workforce.
"It's really powerful for people who stayed home or volunteered, because you can focus on what sells you the best," Bowes says.
She recommends making seven to 10 key skill statements on your resumé and listing four or five accomplishments that are complex and demonstrate the use of more than one skillset.
For people who don't know where to start, a simple exercise can help identify key skillsets: Break down what you do, how you do it and the skills you use in the process. Demonstrating how you've used these skills will also help you when it comes time for interview questions.
It's also important to take full advantage of a cover letter by spelling out how your skills are transferable to the position.
"I'm not sure most people realize there's a lot of value in the covering letter," Robinson says. "If people take the time to connect the dots and show how their skills are transferrable to the position, that will really help the recruiter see value - especially given the often large volumes of resumés they have to go through."
As for Boughen, he's not too worried about returning to the workforce. Keeping busy as a school volunteer and coaching sports teams, he has no regrets and says staying home with his daughters was the best thing he could have done.
"I really don't think there needs to be as big a deal about explaining yourself now as there was years ago."
(Tess van Straaten can be reached at tess@businessedge.ca)
