By Rob Driscoll
Following a weekend that took a page from Murphy’s Law, I am compelled to present the Top 10 Reasons Why Your Weekend Was Better Than Mine:
10. You didn’t have to spend your entire weekend moving your furniture and about a billion boxes to a new home in rain and hail, and you didn’t move into a house that was not completed on time and had mud pits instead of front and backyards.
9. You didn’t slip on some netting at the start of the day and fall awkwardly to the floor, injuring your wrist.
8. You didn’t find out the hard way that the stacked washer/dryer weighing hundreds of pounds cannot be separated into two units.
7. You don’t have a friend named John who failed to notice that you were not holding said washer/dryer unit while pushing it on a dolly, and pulled the front end off the dolly, sending it crashing onto you. (I forgave him once I realized my back and spinal cord were still intact … since we were acting like a couple of big boobs, I guess you could call my gesture of forgiveness a Dolly Pardon.)
6. You didn’t ask your girlfriend to push the washer/dryer up the stairs from the bottom with your friend while you pulled from the safety of the top of the stairs.
5. Your girlfriend did not slip on water that had leaked from the washer and tumble to the bottom of the stairs, sustaining several large bruises and a cut that left a long streak of blood along the side of the washer. (Thankfully, John was able to prevent the unit from crushing both of them against the cement wall at the bottom of the stairs.)
4. You didn’t try to carry a queen-size boxspring down to your basement only to find out that there is no way it would fit around the tight corner and through the door at the bottom of the stairs … and you didn’t gouge the newly painted walls in several places trying to get it through.
3. You weren’t stupid enough to do the same thing with the headboard just before that.
2. You didn’t roll your ankle and fall into the front mud pit carrying the boxspring back to the moving truck on the last load of the day!
1. You weren’t in my shoes!